The Proopster's View: Beginning with the Brits
by corr2win90
Summary: Greg Proops. One of America's funniest comedians, also known as "The Smartest Man in the World". So, what was his life like during the British version of Whose Line is it Anyway? Read and find out! NOTE: Please read "RyCol: The Story Part 1: Beginning with the Brits " FIRST! also another story by me . Please read, favourite, follow...and enjoy! Rated M for smuttiness & language.
1. Prologue: Hi, My Name Is

**The Proopster's View**

Part 1: "On the Sidelines"

DISCLAIMERS:  
1. This is rated how it is for a reason. There is language, and some detailed scenes in it.  
2. Greg and Josie NEVER GOT TOGETHER IN REAL LIFE. The Gresie pairing is strictly fictional. So: no likey, no read-y.  
3. All of the historical facts of Whose Line, like the episode numbers and cast members, are true and not made up. However, the settings like Manhattan Heights Hotel, are made up.  
4. PLEASE READ PART 1 ("BEGINNING WITH THE BRITS") OF

**_RYCOL: THE STORY_****(also by me) BEFORE READING THIS! YOU'LL BE TOTALLY CONFUSED IF YOU DON'T! :)**

I do not own Whose Line is it Anyway,or any of the real people in this story (though that would be cool if I did).

Prologue: Hi, My Name Is...

Hi. I'm Greg Proops, Californian and famous Whose Line comedian.

You may know me as that whacky and goofy guy from the famous American improvisation show, and also as the giddy kids voice of Bob the Builder.

But did you know that I was also on the British version of Whose Line across the pond?

Well, unless you are British or actually paid attention to British television, you probably hadn't. I know I didn't until Dan Patterson and Mark Leveson picked me up for season 2.

Another thing you probably didn't know: I was a major player in the highly publicized romance between Ryan Stiles and Colin Mochrie.

Yep. My two best friends who ultimately became America's favorite couple to ship. I was the one on the sidelines, watching their love grow and go over all kinds of struggles. I was the one who was there to watch it all, to comment, to judge, to get in the way...

You want to know what I thought and did? Well, let me tell you: Some of it isn't pretty. Some of the things I did...I regret them even today. But...that was then. All is forgiven now.

So, let's start at the beginning, shall we, when I first met Ryan Stiles...


	2. Chapter 1: Wrong Room

**Chapter 1: Wrong Room**

I first met that tall funny guy during the filming of season 2. We were in London, staying in a cute little bed-and-breakfast for a couple weeks. When I first arrived, I saw that I was in a room alone. I then met Ryan across the hall, where he was staying.

You see, I've never been good at following directions. Our hostess said my room was on the left, and I went to the right instead, and walked right into Ryan's room.

I'll never forget that moment. Ryan was standing in the middle of the room, holding up a tie, and was examining it funny. He then saw me and looked confused.

"Oh, hi?" he said. "Do you...need something?"

I looked at the room number. "Oh, I'm sorry. I must've gone to the wrong room. I'm staying here for filming for_ Whose Line is it Anyway?_."

"Funny," he said, putting down the tie. "I am, too." He walked over to me, and held out his hand. "I'm Ryan Stiles, from Toronto's Second City troupe. You?"

I shook his hand. "I'm Greg Proops. From San Francisco."

"Cool," Ryan said. "So...what episodes are you on?"

"Let's see..." I thought for a moment. "Episodes 1, 4, 7, which is the Christmas Special, and 13. And, of course, the compilations," I added.

"Lucky," Ryan said, sitting on his bed. "I'm only in episodes 5 and 8, and the compilations, I guess," he said shyly.

"Huh," I said. "Well, you are new, right?"

"Yeah. Dan and Mark found me last year," he said.

"Well, let me tell you, if you're funny, you'll definitely stay on and get more episodes," I said reassuringly. "It's my first season too."

"Really?" Ryan said, surprised.

"Yeah," I said, sitting down next to him. "They only had mostly British people on the first season of the show. They're finally bringing in Americans now."

"Oh," Ryan said.

There was a moment of silence. I stood up.

"Well, if you need anything...I guess I'm right across the hall from you, right?" Ryan said, also getting up.

"Yeah," I said with a smile. "I promise I'll try not to barge in again."

"Oh, it's fine," Ryan said, also smiling. "I'm lonely all the time around here anyway. I don't know anyone here, me being from Canada and all."

I laughed. "Well, I'll be your first friend then. See you, Stiles."

"Bye, Proops."

I closed the door behind me and found my own room, and unlocked the door.

* * *

After that encounter, me and Ryan became really good friends. We weren't on any episodes together for season 2, but we always ended up hanging out in downtown London when each of us didn't have an episode. We would talk about everything; making fun of Clive, our English host, the crazy games we did on the show, anything we could think of. Ryan was a good friend.

I was sad, however, when we wrapped up filming, and it was our last night in the bed-and-breakfast. Ryan came into my room that night, at about five, to say good-bye.

I was watching television when I heard him knock on the door. I quickly turned off the re-run of_ Alf_ I was watching, and ran to the door, knowing it was Ryan.

"Hey, Stiles," I said as I opened the door.

"Hey, Proops," he said, coming in. "Guess what I brought?"

"What?" I said, as he held up a tape.

"It's one of the compilations for this season," Ryan said, sitting on the couch. "Dan gave it to me the other day. He said it features everyone, including me and you," he said excitedly.

"Oh, cool," I said. "I didn't even know they finished making the compilations already."

"Yeah, apparently they start making them after the first episode," Ryan explained. "Wanna watch it?"

"Of course!" I said, flopping down on the couch next to him as he put the tape in.

It was a great compilation. Me and Ry both had a lot of funny moments in it. When it was over, he popped the tape back out and set it on the coffee table, deep in thought as he leaned back on the couch.

I stared at him. "What's going on in that head of yours, Stiles?"

He looked over at me, coming out of his daze. "Nothing I was just...thinking, hoping, more like, that I make it back on the show next season."

I gaped at him. "Are you kidding me?" I scooted over closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "You're Ryan Stiles! Did you see yourself in those videos? You were frickin' amazing! Of course you'll be back on next season!"

He smiled. "Thanks, Greg. Do you think you'll be back on next season? 'Cause I know I'll be lost without your witty guiding."

I laughed. "I hope they keep me. I'm the only fashion-sensed one on the show," I said, making him laugh.

"You're the only one that can pull off a purple suit jacket," he grinned.

"Purple is the new black, bitch," I said knowingly.

Ryan punched me in the arm lightly. "You're so weird."

I grinned mischievously. "That's why they call me the Proopster, doc."

We both laughed hard at that, and Ryan asked, "So, what are you gonna do on break then?"

I thought about it, because I didn't really have a plan in mind. "Probably just head back to San Fran, party a little until they call me back," I said, "what are you gonna do, Canuck?"

"Visiting the family back in Vancouver," he said.

"Are they still mad at you for the whole drop-out thing?" I said, while getting up and grabbing two colas out of the refrigerator for me and him.

Ryan shrugged. "Not sure. I mean, you would think they'd be fine by now, since it's been plenty of years, but...I haven't seen them since then. This is the first time I'm seeing them since I moved out."

I sat back down next to him, handing him a cola and popping the top off of mine. "Harsh," I said.

"Yeah, well, I've gotten over it," he said, taking a sip from his cola. "Comedy is what I wanted to do, and they weren't going to stop me, no matter what."

I nodded, agreeing with him on that point. I then held up my can. "Cheers for sticking up for what we love," I toasted.

He laughed, and we clinked cans and took chugs of our soda.

Ryan then got up and got a piece of paper and pen from his desk and scribbled something on it. He then sat down next to me again and gave me the paper.

I looked at it. "Your home phone number?"

"Yep," he said, finishing off his soda. "So you and me can talk on break, and make sure we both get calls to come back."

"Cool," I said. "If you hand me a piece of paper, I'll give you mine."

Ryan got back up and handed me another piece of paper and pen. I leaned on the coffee table and wrote down my phone number, for my apartment in San Francisco. I handed the paper and pen back to Ry. "Here you go, buddy."

He smiled and folded the paper and put it in his front pocket of his jeans. "So..." he looked at the clock, that said 7:00. "What do you say to go having a little fun on our last day in London?"

I smiled. "Sounds like a good plan to me, Stiles."

We both got up, grabbed our coats, and headed out.

* * *

Me and Ry had a blast that night. We walked to a bar around the corner from the bed-and-breakfast and had ourselves a great time full of vodka, laughter, and- best of all- chicks. I was a natural flirt, and was good with the ladies. Ryan also was good at getting their attention, grinning at them with his signature pick-up line, "You know what they say about guys with big feet." However, we didn't bring any home; we just had fun there at the bar, getting more drunk by the hour.

By the time me and him got back, it was past midnight and we were both sluggish and our words were slurred. We steadied each other as we walked up the steps back to our respective rooms. When we got there, a very drunk Ryan put his hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, Greg, I'm gonna miss you, buddy," he said.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Ryan, you crazy Canuck," I said, hiccuping.

We both started to laugh loudly then, hugging each other. Before we disturbed the rest of the house, we both said goodbye and went to our rooms. I instantly staggered into my bed and fell right asleep.


	3. Chapter 2: Hey, Guess What Hello, NYC

**Chapter 2: Hey, Guess What?/ Hello, New York**

So, I went back to San Francisco that break, and did what I told Ryan I was going to do: I partied. Alcohol, smoking, girls...if was like high school summer vacation all over again. Me and Ryan also stayed in touch during this time, while he was in Vancouver.

It was a Monday morning when I got the important phone call from Ryan regarding the show. I was laying in bed, my head pounding from a bad hangover when the phone rang from my nightstand.

I really wasn't in the mood to answer it, but did anyway. "Hello?" I said grouchily into the receiver.

"Proops? It's me, Ryan."

It would be him to call me this early. "Oh, hi, are you doing up so early?"

He laughed. "It's not even that early; it's noontime. You're hungover, aren't you?"

I laughed, and then held my head in my hands. "You know me so well. So, what's up?"

"You have to guess. It's exciting."

I thought about it. "Did they finally switch to inches up there in Canada?"

He laughed. "No. Unfortunately, we're still in centimeters. No, I got a call from Dan Patterson a couple minutes ago. I'm on for Season 3!"

"Oh, cool," I said, feeling sad.

"Did you get a call yet?" Ryan asked.

"No, not-" Just then, my phone made a beeping noise, signaling that I had another call coming in.

"Sorry, Ry, but could you hold on for a minute? I have another call coming in."

"Sure," Ryan said, and I switched the line.

"Hello?" I said to the new caller.

"Greg? Hi, it's Dan Patterson."

I smiled. "Hi, Dan. Let me guess; I'm on Season 3?"

"I swear, Proops, you are a mind reader," the British producer joked. "Yes, you're on Season 3. I've scheduled a flight to New York for you at 5:00 am on Wednesday. Okay with you?"

Waking up early wasn't my forte, but I complied. "Sounds good. Anything else?"

"Yes," Dan said. "Your first episode is episode 1 on Thursday. So be ready, okay?"

I laughed. "You know I'm always on schedule, Patterson."

He laughed as well. "Oh, Greg. See you in New York on Wednesday. I'll meet you at JFK."

"Okay, bye, Dan," I said as he hung up.

I switched back to Ryan. "Still there, Stiles?"

"Yeah, I'm still here, Proops," he said. "Who was calling you? A girl, perhaps?"

I laughed. "I wish. No, it was our wonderful British producer telling me I'm on Season 3."

Ryan cheered. "Cool! Now we're both on! So, did he tell you your flight?"

"Yeah, bright and early on Wednesday," I said with fake enthusiasm.

He laughed. "I know you love waking up in the morning. Mine's on Sunday, since my first episode is episode 10," he said. "What's your first episode?"  
"Episode 1," I answered.

"I guess that's why you get to leave your party-city so soon," Ryan chuckled. "Well, I'll have to meet you there once I get to the Big Apple, won't I?"  
I smiled. "Sounds like a plan, Stiles."

"Cool," he said. "Well, I'll let you get back to being hungover. See you on Sunday, and good luck on episode 1."

"Okay, bye, Stiles," I said, hanging up. I put the phone back on the nightstand, took a couple Advils to ease my bad headache, and fell back asleep.

* * *

I've been to New York before for a couple comedy gigs, so I knew that there would be a huge crowd in the lobby coming off my flight. I was right; I almost stepped on Dan trying to find him.

"Um, Greg?" I looked in front of me and saw the short British producer.

"Oh, hi, Dan," I said, shaking his head. "Sorry I almost ran over you there, buddy."

"I'm getting used to it," Dan chuckled. "C'mon, let's get out of here."

I followed him to a cab he already he waiting outside of the airport and got in. Dan sat next to me, pulling something out of his briefcase as the cabbie started driving. A paper.

"Here," he said, handing the paper to me. "This is your schedule for the season."

I skimmed the list of episodes and slid it into my bag. "What time are we starting tomorrow, boss?"

Dan thought for a moment. "8:00 am. And like I said before, try to be on time."

I smiled mischievously. "Ha ha ha, you know me so well, Dan."

We arrived at the Manhattan Heights Hotel, where I was being dropped off. Me and Dan said goodbye and I entered the hotel.

It was huge. I'd been in tons of motels and hotels before, but this one was fancy. Guess they're raking in a lot of dough with this little improv show, I thought.

I walked up to the clerk, signed in, and got the key to my room, 19-A on the fourth floor. Apparently, I was by myself, one of the only cast members that wasn't sharing a suite. They must know about my tendency to party hard.

I walked to the elevator and punched in four. I took out the paper that Dan had given me in the cab and examined it closely.

_**Episode 1**_  
_Cast Members: Josie Lawrence, Greg Proops, Jim Sweeney, Tony Slattery._  
_Games: Authors, Alphabet, Song Styles, Props, Gospel, Helping Hands, Party Quirks, Expert Translation, and Psychiatrist._

_Expert Translation?_ I thought. _Must be another weird British game they made up._

The elevator doors opened, and I walked out. Trying not to have a rerun of last time, I successfully found my room and unlocked the door. Like the lobby of the hotel, the suite was clean and pristine, with a living room, dining room, bedroom, and bathroom I set up my baggage in my room and looked at the clock. 12:00 P.m., East Coast time. _Damn, what am I gonna do?_

Just then, the door opened, and my good friend Josie Lawrence came in.

"Greg!" She said, coming in and giving me a hug.

I hugged her back, surprised that she knew where my room was. "Hi, Josie. How did you find me already?"

She smiled, and we both sat down on the couch. "I saw you get in the elevator from the lobby. Me and Sandi were just coming back from an early lunch when we saw you come in," she said.

I grinned. "So...you stalked me? Man, I didn't know you were THAT obsessed with me, Josie," I said, putting my hand on her knee.

She laughed nervously, and put her head on my shoulder. "No, I wouldn't call it that! I just wanted to see how you were doing, that's all!"

I laughed. "I understand, Josie. Just messing with you. I just got here a couple minutes ago. Nice place."

"Yeah, it's nothing like London," she said. "Are you...by your lonely in here?" she looked at me adoringly.

"Yup," I said, a little bit of sadness creeping into my voice. "Just me."

She put her hand on my shoulder, and gave me a little peck on the lips. "Oh, poor you. We'll have to keep you company. I know Mike and Paul are in this hallway, and Tony is around here somewhere. Oh, and me and Sandi are on the second floor."

"And then Ryan is going to be coming here on Sunday," I said.

She perked up. "Ryan Stiles? He made it back on?"

"Yeah," I said happily, putting my arms around her.

Josie cheered. "He's so nice. And funny. So...you're on episode 1 with me, Jim, and Tony tomorrow, right?"

"Yes," I said. "I can't wait to work with you again," I smiled.

She smiled back. "I know you can't." Then she kissed me, putting her arms around my neck. I breathed her in, her perfume, and she opened her mouth and let my tongue play with hers. We stayed like that for what seemed like decades, and then we broke apart.

Josie looked at the clock. 2:00 P.M. "Oh, I better get going, hon. I don't want Sandi fretting over where I've been for so long." She gave me a final kiss and walked to the door. "See you tomorrow, Greg!"

I stared back at her happily. "Bye, Josie," She smiled and closed the door behind her.

Oh, yeah, I should explain. You see, last season, me and Josie...well, let's just say that we got together. We weren't really a "couple" per say, but we were...close. We know it would never work out of we had a "real" relationship anyway, so we just stayed...close.

Anyway, once Josie was gone, I decided to sort out my clothes and outfit for the show tomorrow. Usually I didn't do this because I was just too lazy, but today, I felt like being organized for once.

I walked into my bedroom, and started unloading my suitcases. Suit jackets, t-shirts, dress shirts, pants, boxers, shoes... I organized it all and put them into my closet in piles. Then, I shifted through the piles and found what I wanted to wear for episode 1: a black and white polka dot dress shirt, a black suit jacket, black pants, and black dress shoes. Usually, I liked wearing colors, but I wanted to save the more..."fun" outfits for later in the season.

For the rest of the day, I basically just got my suite looking more...like home. I knew it was going to get messy soon, since that's just how I lived, but for now, it looked nice. I wandered out to the streets of New York and found a nice restaurant and had dinner. Then I went back to the apartment, and only stayed up until about ten, since I had shooting tomorrow, and went into slumber.


	4. Chapter 3: My Little Tony

**Chapter 3: My Little Tony at a Stick-up, Wearing Muk-Luks**

***note: this chapter has a little bit of language in it (only twice though)***

Surprisingly, I actually woke up early that morning.

Usually, I slept in until ten, but when I woke up the morning of shooting, I got up at 7:00. I quickly got up, took a shower, and put on my clothes for the episode. Then, I found a bagel in the cabinet in the kitchen, and some coffee mix as well, and had myself a toasted bagel and coffee for breakfast.  
When I was cleaning up my makeshift meal, I heard a knock at the door. I jogged over and opened it, finding Josie outside the door, along with another man with short, curly hair, and a blue shirt on.

"Hi, Greg," Josie said, hugging me like she usually did."Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said, looking at the stranger. "And you are..."

He held out his hand. "Jim Sweeney. I'm new."

"Oh," I said, shaking his hand. "I heard about you. Well, welcome to our crazy family." I turned back to Josie. "Let me just go get my jacket."

I walked back to my room, and got my black suit jacket, and put it on as I walked back to Josie and Jim. Josie was looking at my suite, surprised.

"What are you all shocked about?" I asked her.

"Your room," she said, still shocked. "It's actually...clean!"

I punched her lightly on the arm. "Yeah, I can actually be quite neat when I want to be. Come back in a couple days though; I assure you it'll be back to the 'Greg Proops was Here' state," I joked.

She laughed, and we headed out. We got to the elevator, but instead of hitting 1, Josie hit 5.

"Where are we going?" I asked her.

"We have to pick up Tony," she said. "Knowing the foolish hooligan, he's probably still asleep in his tightie-whities."

I laughed. "Tony in his tightie-whities...thank you for putting that beautiful picture in my head," I looked at jim. "You're lucky you haven't met Tony yet."

"Why? What's wrong with him?" Jim asked.

Josie smiled at him. "Oh, he's just..."

"Raunchy?" I filled in.

She nodded as we got to Tony's door. "Yeah, basically." She knocked on the door three times. "Tony! Are you awake?"

The door opened, and, much to me and Jim's sensitive eyes, stood a very tired-looking Tony Slattery in his tightie-whities. "What?" he said.

Me and Jim looked away, somewhat horrified. Sure, Tony was attractive, but...we were guys. Josie just shrugged, as if seeing Tony like this was "normal".

"Tony, put on some clothes," she said. "We have to leave to go shoot."

"Shoot what?" he said, still in a daze.

She groaned. "Episode 1, you twit. Remember? That improv show you're on? We have a show today. So go put on your trousers and your suit and get your butt back out here. Quickly!"

Before he could say anything, Josie pushed him back into his room and shut the door. I heard Tony shuffle into his room, cursing.

I smiled, and gave Josie a high-five. "Nice going there, Lawrence. You really showed him who's boss."

She laughed. "I can't help it! He gets on my last nerve sometimes. He stays up until past midnight drinking, and then he's never on time in the morning. And then I'M blamed for being late all the time!" She groaned, and I put my arms around her.

"Oh, Josie," I said. "That's why we're here. We'll help you stay on time." I looked at Jim. "Right, Sweeney?"

"Sure," he said, still kind of uncomfortable since he was new. I'd have to get him caught up with the rest of us.

Five minutes later, a more energetic-looking Tony Slattery came out of his suite. Josie cheered, and me and Jim laughed.

"Finally!" Josie said.

Tony frowned. "Hey, I can't help it that we have to get up so bloody early!"

I grinned. "Well, I'm usually the hungover one, and I woke up on time today."

He turned to me. "Proops? You're here too?"

I laughed, because Tony was obviously still sleepy. "I've been here. It's me, you, Josie here, and our new friend, Jim."

Tony turned to Jim and shook his hand. "Hi, I'm Tony Slattery. Sorry you had to see...what you did." He smiled.

Jim returned the smile. "It's all good. I'm Jim Sweeney."

"Man, now I really feel left out," I said sadly.

Josie turned to me, confused. "Why's that, Greg?"

I smiled. "I'm the only one who doesn't have a British accent."

They all laughed, and Josie gave me a kiss on the cheek. "We'd better get going. Don't want Dan getting on our backs for the first episode."

* * *

Lucky for us, we were on time. Dan gave me a wink as I passed him, on my way to my dressing room to get ready. Ten minutes later, we all took our seats on stage and started filming.

It was a great first episode to start the third season. We started off with Authors, one of my favorite games. Josie, being the Brit that she was, chose to be Michelin's Guide to Famous Buildings and Landmarks in London. So, to translate, she was a London tour book that no one ever reads. I decided to be Jack Kerouac, a Beat Generation novelist and poet. Jim went with the famous Hobbit writer J.R.R. Tolkien, and Tony...well, our raunchy and wacky friend Tony went with My Little Pony, leaving Clive to reference him as "My Little Tony". Clive then asked the audience for a title, and someone randomly shouted, "How I Killed My Fairy Godmother", so we went with it. I started my bit with this, after Josie talked about Abbey Road: "London was cold and foggy, but it was cool because I was in San Francisco." The audience roared, apparently knowing how Jack Kerouac wrote. After that, the game went great, especially when Tony started referencing drugs: "Why is everything so Garishly coloured? It's because we all take Methoxamine Sulfate!" Surprisingly, the censor let our references slide. _See, you can't say 'Fuck!' on American television,_ I thought, _but you can talk about drugs on British television._

The rest of the episode basically ran like that. In the next game of Alphabet, me and Clive shared one of our usual "bickering Brit versus American" moments.

He started it, when he gave me and Jim our scene. "The scene I'd like you two to do is a stick-up. You have those in America, don't you?" he directed the question towards me.

I laughed and turned to the balding host. "We _invented_ it."

The next funny moments happened during Props. Me and Josie were paired up, our prop being a pom-pom, against Tony and Jim, their prop being a yellow cylindrical accordion-type object. Our team's funniest moment was when Josie put the pom-pom on her head and said, "Hey, boy, I know where you can buy really crap hamburgers!", taking a stab at America's favorite fast-food chain. I put my hands over my mouth and laughed. Then, at the end of the game, Tony showed his raunchy side; he extended the accordion item out, put it under his stomach, and said, "Oh! You excite me!" Clive shook his head, and ended the game after that.

Then we did Gospel, which was pretty funny but not the best, then Helping Hands. Instead of three players, all four of us played, me doing the hands for Josie and Tony doing the hands for Jim. Josie almost giggled when I put my arms around her. It was a good scene.  
Then, we played Party Quirks, where Tony was host. I almost laughed out loud, because Tony wasn't the best guesser in the world. He couldn't figure out Jim's at all, which was that he got everything wrong. He also couldn't get Josie's at first, and thought she was a stripper (but she was a kangaroo). Mine was pretty easy, being a compulsive talker.

Next was the game I was confused about yesterday morning, Expert Translation. Apparently, it was just Experts except that one person is the expert, talking in a different language, and the other person has to translate for them. Josie and Jim played, Josie speaking Albanian about sheep. It was hilarious.

The final game we played was Psychiatrist, with Josie singing a solution for each of our problems. I was first, and my problem was that I thought I was an eskimo. It went like this: "Up in the frozen North, there's a lot of schlubbers/ All day long I spend my time just eating blubber/ When I ride the bus each day, everybody looks at me funny/ 'Cause I'm wearing Muk-Luks and my nose is always runny." Josie responded with: "This problem always goes back to your momma/ She never kissed you, she only rubbed your nose/ And when you were small, although it was hot/ She always wrapped you up in furry clothes/ So this is what I need for you to do/ Don't ever live in an igloo!" I smiled at her, and went back to my seat. Jim was scared of hats, and then Tony, going along with the whole Kids' Television theme for him, was in love with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  
So...the winner was Tony (no surprise there), and he got to read the credits in the style of someone auditioning for an Australian soap opera. It was funny, and once we were done, Dan yelled, "That's a wrap!", and we were let go. It was about 6:00 p.m. I grabbed my jacket off my chair, and Tony and Jim came up to me.

"Hey, Tony," I said, shaking his hand, "great job out there today."

He smiled. "Thanks, Greg. You did really good too. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come hang out with me and Jim here. I wanted to show him around, and get him acquainted."

I smiled. "Sure, I'll tag along." I looked over at Jim. "You need to make some friends here anyway."

Jim grinned shyly. "Where we going anyways, Tony?"

I looked at Tony and laughed. "A bar?"

Tony chuckled. "You know me too well, American."

* * *

I was right. Me, Tony, and Jim ended up going to a local bar near the studio. We invited Josie along, but she said she wanted to just go back to the hotel.

"More guy-time for us, just bachelors," Tony shrugged.

We walked into the bar, named The Manhattan Bar, and sat down, Tony already eyeing girls. We each ordered a scotch, Jim still looking slightly uncomfortable. I turned to him.

"Hey, there, buddy," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Shy, much?"

Jim grinned. "No. I'm just not...exactly a ladies' man, that's all." he took a sip of his scotch.

I shrugged. "That doesn't mean you can't get their attention," I said. "They love a good English accent."

He looked surprised. "Really?"

I nodded. "Women find it attractive, for some odd reason. I just find it funny and annoying at times."

"Good to know," he said, taking another sip of alcohol. "Hey, Tony, what..." he turned around, to find Tony's seat empty.

I laughed, pointing to the back of the bar, where Tony was now surrounded by about five women, all staring at him adoringly.

Jim looked at it blankly. "How the hell..."

I sighed. "He's Tony fuckin' Slattery," I said, taking a long gulp of my scotch, emptying its contents. "Makes us look a little dull, eh?"

He laughed. "I don't mind," he said, also emptying his scotch. "So...you're from..."

"San Francisco," I filled in, as the bartender got each of us another scotch. "And I know you're from somewhere in Britain..."

"Bournemouth," he answered. "In the great southwest of the mother country."

Me and him continued to talk, ultimately taking 4 shots each of scotch, holding it down well. At eleven, we decided to leave Tony to his own devices (for he was still having fun in the back, holding a girl against him), and go back to the hotel.

It wasn't like being drunk with Ryan; both of us were actually quite calm, for being drunk. Jim told me he was staying on the third floor, so I said goodbye to him when we got to the floor, and then hit in 4.

When I made it back to my suite, I collapsed onto my bed, like in London, and blacked out.


	5. Chapter 4: The Canadian s Arrive

**Chapter 4: The Canadian (s) Arrive**

The next few days were a blur.

Basically, I divided my time between smoking, drinking with Jim, being "close" with Josie, and wallowing around my suite with nothing to do. By this point, I had given up on keeping the place clean, so my clothes were thrown all around, mess piling up everywhere. I didn't really care, since I was the only one living there anyway.

However, on Monday morning, I did a little cleaning, since Ryan's flight was coming in that afternoon. I had called him the day before, telling him what room I was in and to stop by before he went to his. I mean sure, he knew I was messy, but I didn't want it to look like a total pigpen.

Since I had nothing else better to do, I sat on the couch and watched television until Ryan arrived, a little past 2:00.

I was watching a rerun of Full House when there was a knock on the door. I happily ran to it, and the Canuck appeared.

"Proops!" he said, giving me a hug as he walked in.

"Stiles!" I exclaimed as I closed the door behind him.

Ryan flopped down on my couch, looking around. "You're actually keeping it semi-clean this time, Greg? What's gotten into you since London?"

I chuckled, and sat next to him. "Believe me, it wasn't like this this morning, that's for sure."

He grinned. "So, how was episode 1?"

"Pretty good," I said. "I got to play Helping Hands with Josie. I was the hands," I smirked.

Ryan raised his eyebrows at me. "You and Josie...?"

I sighed. "It's not like we're actually going out, Ry. We're just...having fun, that's all." I stood up. "You want a beer?"

He nodded, and I went to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles. I walked back to the couch, flopped down, and handed him a beer.  
"Thanks, Greg," he said, taking a sip.

"Your welcome," I said. "So, how was the flight, Canuck?"

Ryan laughed. "Crazy. You weren't kidding when you said New York was a zoo. I couldn't even find Dan!"

I took a sip of my beer, smiling. "Well, he _is_ short."

"Yeah, but_ I'm_ tall," he said. "Anyway, I met Dan at JFK, and he told me some interesting news."

I cocked my head at him. "What would that be?"

"Apparently," he said, taking another sip of beer, "I'm bunking with my old pal Colin Mochrie from Vancouver."

"Well, that's cool," I said. "At least you're not all alone." I motioned to my empty residence.

Ryan grinned. "I bet Josie keeps you company all the time." He looked away for a moment, lost in thought. "I haven't seen Colin in...a year? Ever since we were in Second City together..."

"Did you see him yet?" I asked.

"Nah," Ryan said. "I had the bellboy send my luggage to my room, but I decided to come see you first."

"Yay, I feel important," I said happily. "So...did you get your episode list yet?"

"No, Dan said he'd give it to me later," Ryan said.

"Well, I know me and you are on at least one episode together," I said, getting out my episode list. "Let me see...yup. Greg Proops, George McGrath, Mike McShane, and Ryan Stiles for episode 15," I read.

"Cool," he said.

I took another sip of beer. "So...how'd it go with the rents over break? I never remembered to ask you before."

He smiled. "Pretty well, actually. They were proud of me, congratulating me on the show." He took another sip, and looked out the window. "It's kind of ironic though, isn't it? Congratulating me on the very thing they were shunning me for before?"

I nodded, kind of shocked at Ryan. Sure, he wasn't dumb, but he usually didn't show his more intellectual side too often. "Deep," I said.

Ryan laughed. "I can be when I want to. What did your parents think of...your occupation choice?"

I chuckled. "Man, they just let me be. They knew I was funny, and so they just let me go on my way." I looked at Ryan. "Guess American parents are more loose than Canadians, eh?"

He smiled. "That's for sure." He finished his beer, and looked at the clock. "Well, I guess I better be on my way. Don't want the fellow Canuck wondering where the tall guy is." He grabs his coat off the back of the couch.

"Well, you know where I am when you want to talk," I said, walking him to the door.

"I'm sure I'll be back," Ryan said. "And I hope the Messy Greg comes back by then." He grinned.

I smirked. "Party of one, mess all by myself." I shook his hand and patted him on the back. "Well, have fun with your fellow Canuck, Stiles. See you later."

Ryan smiled, and patted me back. "See you, Proops. Don't get yourself into too much trouble." He laughed, and walked out the door.  
I shut the door behind him, smiling to myself.

_The Canadians have arrived._


	6. Chapter 5: Falling to Pieces?

**Chapter 5: Falling (To Pieces?)**

***Note: This is a very smutty (a little lemon-y) and does have language. Enjoy!***

I woke up the next day at noon, feeling depressed again.

_Ryan is probably out reuniting with Colin, Jim is probably out and about, God knows where Tony is..._

_Josie?_

I sighed. I had no idea where me and her stood. I mean, we usually just referred to ourselves as lovers, like friends with benefits, but...

Who knows anymore?

I get out of bed, and take a shower. Put on some street clothes, and get a leftover donut from yesterday to eat. Melancholy. Boring. Absolutely nothing to do.

I was sitting absentmindedly at a little past two when a knock came at the door. Not knowing who it was at all, I opened it.

"Hey, Greg," Josie said, walking in. "Am I interrupting anything?"

I smiled. "Just absolute boredom. Thanks for coming."

She laughed. "I knew you would have nothing to do. Too lazy to get out and about, stuck in this little room of yours."

I frown. "I'm not that lazy. I just know it takes a million years to get anywhere in New York. Besides..." I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. "I had a feeling you would show up sometime."

She smiles, and we both sit on the couch. "Well, it was either you or look for Ryan. And obviously I chose you." She cuddled closer to me, resting her head against my shoulder.

I put my arm around her. "So...what do you want to do then? Watch the telly? Go out?"

She looks up at me. "I was thinking...something a little raunchier than that..." she said, biting her lip nervously.

"When you say _raunchier_," I said, bringing her in closer, so that our lips were centimeters apart, "what exactly do you mean?"

"Oh, don't overthink it," she said, placing her lips against mine. She put her arms around me, and wrapped her legs around my waist. I opened up my mouth more, and our tongues mixed together in delight.

I leaned in even closer to her, nibbling at her neck. "Wanna move to the bedroom?" I said seductively.

She nodded, and I carried her to the bedroom, and shut the door behind us. I laid her down on the bed, laying on top of her.

We wasted no time, for we both knew what we wanted. In what seemed like seconds, both our shirts were off, and we were panting. I took her breasts in my hands, and she moaned and flung her head back in ecstasy. I smiled, and kissed her passionately.

"Oh, Greg," she whispered, letting her hands dance across my chest, "You are the best lover I've ever had."

I laughed, and caressed her face, moving to tangle my hands in her luscious hair. "The Proopster, at your service, my princess."

She smiled, and started to unzip my pants. I lifted myself up a little, helping her as she ripped my pants and boxers off all in one shot. She chuckled smugly and took my member in her hands, teasingly stroking it.

I tensed. "Oh, don't play lovers' games with-"

I cut off into a loud moan as Josie put my member into her mouth bravely. I looked at her questionably, and she just nodded, smirking at me. I then gave in and started coming, as she swallowed it all.

When I was done, I sighed happily and Josie held me in her arms, her pants still on.

"Oh, Josie," I said, still elated. "You are amazing."

"You deserve it, hon," she said, playing with my hair. "But now...it's your turn."

She smirked again, and I took her back into my arms, openly kissing her. We rolled, so that I was on top of her. I started taking off her pants, and she bucked her hips to help. Once those were off, I slid her panties off and laid on top of her.

"Greg," she said, pulling me down to kiss me, "I think I might be falling for you."

I looked at her, surprised. "I'm not a good person to fall for, woman," I said, licking her neck carefully.

She looked into my eyes, and moved restlessly under me. "You're addicting. I find myself melting under your touch. If that's not the side effects of love-" she cut off as she kissed me, "-I don't know what is."

I stare at her, seeing the love in her eyes._ Damn_, I thought, _what do I say?_ I'd never been committed to someone before.

But I did love Josie.

I had never admitted it to myself, but I did. Even with all the girls I had picked up over the years, all the fun times of highness and alcohol...

It wasn't as good as being with Josie.

"Greg?" Josie said, looking at me with a question in her eyes.

I looked back down at her, and kissed her softly. "You know what, Josie? I think I'm falling for you, too."

She smiled, and we started making love. Real love.

* * *

Josie left three hours later, saying that she was meeting Dan Patterson for dinner. I sat back on the couch, my clothes back on.

I put my head in my hands. _Damn._ Me and Josie Lawrence...dating.

_I need to talk to Ryan._

I grabbed my keys to the room, shoved them in my pocket, and walked out of my room to the elevator.

As I punched in his floor number, I thought about how I should approach it. _Hey, Ryan, remember when I said that me and Josie were just fooling around? Yeah, I was wrong._

I sighed heavily as the elevator door finally opened. I practically ran to Ryan's room.

_Shit,_ I thought as I approached the door. _Ryan's Canadian friend._ Oh, well. _I'll just have to tell him that I need to talk to Stiles alone._

I knocked on the door. "Stiles? You there?"

The door opened. "Proops?"

I smiled slightly. "Hey, Ryan." I glanced past him. "Are you alone right now?"

He frowned. "Yeah, Colin's out filming for episode 5." He noticed my nervous expression. "What's wrong?"

He motioned me to come in, and we sat down at his dining room table, across from each other. He handed me a beer, and I took a big gulp before talking.

"Ryan," I started, "You know how I was telling you before that me and Josie were just..."

"Friends with benefits?" he finished, and I nodded. "Yeah. Why, what happened?"

"Well..." I said, nervously tapping on the table, "we were doing it a couple hours ago, and...she told me she was falling in love with me."

Ryan's jaw dropped, and he shook his head. "Wait, was it during the sex? Because if it was..."

"No," I said, staring at him seriously. "It was before, and she was freakin' serious!"

He looked at me intently. "So...what did you say then?"

My eyes downcast, I responded. "I told her...I told her that I was falling for her too."

Ryan's eyes went wide. "You're in fuckin' love with her? Greg, you've been fooling around with girls, usually drunk, the whole time I've known you. How the hell are you gonna be in an actual relationship?"

I answered truthfully. "I have no fuckin' clue. That's why I came to you."

Ryan sighed heavily, and stared back into my eyes. "Do you really love her back, or did you just say it for the sex?"

"Of course I fuckin' love her!" I yelled, wanting to kill him. He flinched, and I regained my composure, then continued. "Even all the girls I've picked up in bars drunk don't compare to her. She's sweet, she's tough, she's...everything I've ever wanted in a person. I love her," I finished.

He stared at me for a moment, probably still dumbfounded by the whole thing. Finally, he talked. "I believe you. Well, let me just tell you what you should do. First off, no more sleeping with other women. Even if you are drunk."

I nodded. "Okay, easy enough."

He leaned forward, getting more serious. "No, not 'easy enough'. I know you, Greg. It's not going to be easy." He looked into my eyes. "Maybe you should lay off drinking for a while."

"WHAT?" I yelled.

"Ugh, I didn't mean drinking altogether," he said calmly. "I meant like drinking in bars, where there's women. So you won't be tempted to do something stupid."

"Thank God," I said, becoming calm again. "Well, that's fine then. No more bars for me. Anything else, Dr. Phil?"

He smirked. "Just don't be an ass to her. I know you're not that kind of guy, but...you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I got it," I said, standing up. "Thanks, Ry. I'll make sure I don't turn into an asshole."

He smiled. "That's the Proopster I know." He came over and gave me a hug. "Good luck, Greg. You're gonna need it."

I smirked. "You know it."


End file.
